Candyland
Your world
is a lie.
Molded by
your weakness into a hollow plastic animal you bought from a machine
at the zoo as a
child,
naive fingers worrying across the seams until they're worn away.
Out of sight.
Out of mind.
You go to school,
go to work,
fuck your wife, and pray for things you don't have.
You're careful not to stray across
the bad side of town.
You drop your kids off at the door
instead of letting them walk to school.
You've got full coverage on the house and car.
You're careful not to say the wrong thing to the boss,
and take night classes just in case.
A dead bolt on the door,
a night light in the hall,
and Spot at the foot of the bed.
You voted for Clinton
talk gun control,
complain about the violence on TV.
You've got a dentist appointment on Tuesday,
you wear a rubber when you fool around,
and wipe your ass with recycled toilet paper.
Hey fuck...
maybe you didn't notice this as you flipped through the latest issue
of Newsweek with its color photos of dead black men in Africa
but Jesus doesn't give a shit about you.
Bad things happen to good people.
Every day.
For no fucking reason.
Your children's
deaths will be just as meaningless as your mother's,
your father's,
and your own.
You can't spot a serial killer by the shoes he wears,
the beer he drinks,
or the movies he rents.
The president cheats on his taxes,
twelve year olds smoke crack,
have babies,
priests rape little boys,
and the garbage man eyes your wife through the kitchen window saving
her discarded pantyhose for later.
These are
facts.
This is where I live.
My world is real.
It reaches out and touches you.
Hard.
It intrudes and doesn't need to be propped up with faith.
I'm on the streets with a bulge in my back pocket because
it's illegal to have a concealed weapon but
there's no law against carrying a hammer.
My smile is a meat grinder working its way out.
Fear is my candy,
my sugar high, just pop it in my mouth
and let it melt.
Your world
can't enter mine.
Can't enforce its will.
My world is irrefutable
drives a brand new black Lexus
wears a silk pinstripe suit
used to head a failed Savings & Loan
but got out before the fall
before everyone got hurt.
It's walking
head up high in the sunlight
with a pocketful of love
just for you.
Just for you.
5/94
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